None of this was planned
It scares me to let you see my wounds, I don't want to show them to you
You run your fingers slowly down my arm and it bristles my skin
That scares me. I'm afraid of the control you have over me
I want you to know how I feel, so I nail my eyes on yours and it feels like two worlds colliding
I feel my head throbing, you haven't done anything yet, but you're very close to me now
I know what you want and I don't know how to prevent it from happening
Why have I looked at your eyes? I can't stop it anymore
Now it's me who extends my arm to you
Something paralyzes me, but I've done enough
You take me by the shoulders and I feel my back hitting something hard
This is what I want? I don't know... what if I try?
No need to say anything, you can see my shoulder, and little by little, you can see more
A lot of pieces of my soul begin to shine everywhere while I feel your breath on me
Then, I realize that I'm crying, that my tears are falling down my face and they're tickling me
You hug me hard, you kiss my neck
And then, I stop knowing where my body ends and where yours begins
We start to be only one
I know what it's about to happen, but I don't know if I care
You've always been the only one who has been there. You never failed me
That's why I have to let you do it, right?
I kiss your lips with rage until I feel the taste of blood
But you don't mind, in fact, it seems that you like it
My vibrant hands on your back
I do not think about anything anymore
Then, you take out your knife and you bring it to my chest
I open my eyes widely, but you're so calm ...
I look at my body, and it's all covered with wounds
I look at you later, and you're looking at them too
You don't care. It has never mattered to you. You understand me, I know
You have always understood me when nobody else has done it
I know what to do
You smile at me and I say yes quietly
The knife begins to pierce my chest
It hurts, I'm feeling the biggest pain I've ever felt
My eyes look at you, both full of terror
But you put a finger on my lips asking for silence
And I trust you. I know you do it for my own good.
The light starts to come out of me and floods the whole room
Everything is full of light. I feel good, I feel really good
It has been the best drug in the world for a moment
And then I look at you. You think this it's the best, but I don't believe it now
No. I know. I don't need you anymore
You do it so well, but...
No. no more. I'm going to escape from this. I won't let you to kill me
It's hard to resist to you, but I'm not gonna let you do it. If it's necessary, I will kill you
The light is getting stronger
You won't do it. Not this time
Your kisses were always the best, so gimme the last
None of this was planned, but today you're gonna die
